We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
