Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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