My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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