remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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