Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I skipped work to stalk him.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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