Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
smell my finger.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
