also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
dude. I can hear the air.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
