I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize