Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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