whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
we made out on top of his cat.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
