man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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