that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
