Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
