I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
