Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
