barbara walters just said penis...
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
