I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize