Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
