I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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