Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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