That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
