C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
