Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
