Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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