she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
