doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
