Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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