Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
