I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
