he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
