Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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