Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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