You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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