Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
