Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
