I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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