she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
