Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
