But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
