Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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