remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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