Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize