this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
