please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
