his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
