It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
