wanna go halves on a baby?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
