You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
