just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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