:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize