ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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