I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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