I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
