I want you more than these girls want KFC
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
