I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize