Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize