The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
