are you still at the devil's house?
I just threw up on my dentist
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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