I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
