God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
