She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
